When I say Khalifah, I mean the husbands and fathers of muslim families. The job of a khalifah started as soon as the solemnisation process is valid. Many responsibilities seen and unseen is transfered from the father of the bride to the person who says "I accept". Being a khalifah our main duties are
1. Make sure you save yourself and your family out of hell-fire by striving to get the Rahmah of Allah s.w.t
2. Educate and guide family members to perform what is good and abstain from anything that is bad and forbidden.
3. Bring comfort, love and relief to our spouse and children.
4. Work for Halal Rezki and give Nafkah in the best way possible. "My money is their money.."
Before marriage I'm heavily influenced by the gentle but heavy words of Al-Marhum Ust Syed Ahmad and Ust Salleh. After spending time with them, I believe that one has to live simply and moderately and fulfill his duties (to Allah as a Khalifah) to the very best of his ability. One must not indulge so much on the demand of his Nafs (desire) and spent wisely what Allah s.w.t has given (time and money).
I believe the Khalifah has to work to get Rezki. I strongly believe that the woman folk is best suited at home. They are made and specially designed by Allah s.w.t to love, care, educate, nurture and comfort our children. The demands of Singapore Living is tremendous - in short, it is expensive to live in Singapore. However, with tasawuf, one can easily identify the basic needs of a family and avoid spending a lot on the luxuries of the world. I believe the rezki can be made sufficient if one does not indulge so much on his Nafs (desires) and only concentrate on his needs.
As as educator, I have seen so many muslim and non-muslim kids go hay-wire and wayward as a result of both parents working and not spending enough quality time with their children. Some families, I admit have no choice but to have both parents working. But other families simply wanted to get extra income just to live luxuriously at the expense of bringing up their children properly.
As Khalifahs, we should ask ourselves what do we want... An expensive car, an expensive handphone, cable TV, expensive furniture, a beautiful renovated house, expensive clothes, broadband, luxurious delicious food or gave it all up and ensure that there is a full-time mother taking care of our children. The choice is then very clear again. Our wife must be allowed or at least given a choice to fulfill their role as mothers to our children. The maid, grandparents, student care centre teachers and other forms of caretakers could not replace the invaluable mother.
I believe the Khalifahs must then make a great sacrifice. Painful and discomforting but necessary. It is clear then, the future generation of muslims - their Iman, Akhlak and even their Amal is shaped by the hands of the Khalifah and his second-in-command i.e. his Wife. Lets not sacrifice the future generation of Muslims by neglecting our children. Having children is easy, raising one up is a great challenge.
Abu Mukhtaar Ibni Abdullatiff
1 comment:
Salaam Dear Zauji
What you have penned down is very true in living in this world ,
in this era especially
in this heavily economic driven country.
In terms of basic needs, I wouldn't mind spending much more for quality of products mainly furniture, kitchenware and kids' materials, which can last for ages! Like the saying goes, "You get what you paid for", isn't it?
The disadvantages of getting things for long term is that there is less variety as we stay in the same house for years. Hehe. But don't worry, there are ways for me to create variations with the same things year after year, even MONTHLY.
1. Rearrange the furniture (you know me, I will do that always, depending on mood). To do this, come out with plan and purpose of placing the furniture in such a way.
2. Redecorate the house/ things around the house, etc.
3. Change paint colours maybe every 3-5 years (That's in my project list)
Again, dear zauji, I will try me very best to live with what we have.
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